The Curmudgeon


Thursday, October 11, 2018

Graybeing Trucks it Up

Motorways in Kent are being closed off and turned into lorry parks because the Minister for Transport is convinced they will not be needed. The minister in question is, of course, the brilliant Chris Graybeing, who has added to his triumph by not telling anyone about it, including the local Conservative MP. The work, which is expected to double the length of journeys for lucky drivers, was apparently unplanned as recently as a week ago, but since then Graybeing has had a bit of a wave in his supra-oesophageal ganglion, resulting in all sorts of ructions inside that peculiar hollow dome which he wears above his suit. It is certainly reassuring to see Graybeing making sensible provision, even against a possibility so astronomically remote as Chris Graybeing getting something wrong; but the local MP apparently lacks the breadth of vision to see the matter in so charitable a light, especially as planning permission seems to have been waved through without the usual entertaining pretence of consultation with the proles. Graybeing has offered a placatory meeting; not with the proles, of course, but just a bit of a chat to reassure the local MP that the only people to be adversely affected will be illegal immigrants, road haulage operatives who just sit in cabs all day, and other Conservative Party non-donors. However, the director of policy at the Road Haulage Association has also taken a negative view, warning of dire consequences for people who have so far abandoned their Britishness as to live on perishable goods. If one didn't know any better or recall his glorious record in office, one might almost think some people were taking the brilliant Chris Graybeing for a fool.


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