Eliminate the Negative

It is of course generally accepted that climate change, with its attendant floods, wildfires and extreme weather events, may on occasion be bad for business; but only a traitor, a fool or a fake-newsing migrant-lover would claim that the undesirable effects have much to do with destroyed homes and destitute workers. As the rational state of North Carolina discovered some years ago, the reason climate change is bad for business is that mere experts keep on talking about it and saying how awful it will be, whereas in fact, of course, something or other might turn up and it might not be so awful after all. When the Coastal Resources Commission warned about the possible consequences of sea-level rises for North Carolina's long, low coastline, the wealth-creating community went all snowflakey about property values and insurance costs, so the state legislature ordered the scientists to use more optimistic data; and as if by magic, the problem began to look smaller. Unfortunately, the present state governor has reneged on his obligations as an American and has committed North Carolina to giving up its sovereignty to Paris, although according to one coastal geologist the basic plan remains the same: "wait until the situation is catastrophic and then respond." It remains to be seen whether the newly-greatened USA can match the civilised restraint practised by Recrudesent Imperium of Westminster, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands, where the plan is simply to wait until the situation is catastrophic.