Blackest Ingratitude

Officials at the Ministry for Wog Control have displayed a disturbing lack of reverence for local religious truths by recommending that detainees should be paid more than one pound an hour for undertaking menial work. Until the Government achieves its long-term ambition of forcing all the proles to accept similar conditions, it would cost seven times as much to contract the work out to British workers doing British jobs; nevertheless, the compliant Sajid Javid and his minions consider a pound an hour too high. The rate has remained the same for ten years, but hopes that the deadlock could be broken with a twenty-five per cent reduction were cruelly dashed by fears of a Stalinist witch-hunt from the prisons inspectorate and other trendy lefties. Doubtless thanks to interference by Brussels and the non-respectable working class, unauthorised wogs cannot legally be starved or made to sleep in the open, and therefore receive food and accommodation at the taxpayers' expense; yet when out of the goodness of their hearts the turnkeys offer a few hours of intellectual recreation and profitable amusement unplugging a drain or cleaning a toilet, the resulting gratitude is sometimes not entirely unadulterated. In the face of such callous provocations, one wonders where the Ministry of Wog Control finds the fortitude to maintain its basic British decency.