Not Quite the Right Sort

It appears that Arron Banks, the Farage Falange's famously frugal financial finagler, has applied to join the Conservative Party only to be blackballed, presumably on the grounds that there is no room for rich white male racists in the party of Jacob Rees-Mogg and Zac Goldsmith. Then again, the problem may have been that Banks lacked the intellectual distinction to be worthy of the party of Chris Graybeing, Nicholas Soames and Sayeeda Warsi; or perhaps he was found to be insufficiently capable and competent for the party of Theresa May, David Davis and Dominic Raab. Possibly it may have been thought that Banks lacked sufficient charisma to be useful to the party of John Major, Philip Hammond and Theresa May; or that he lacked sufficient debating skills to shine in a party already rampant with the membership of Philip Davies and Peter Bone; or that he was simply a bit shallow and silly for the party of David Cameron and Michael Gove. On the other hand, it may have been felt that Banks was not loyal enough for the party of Boris Johnson; or not honest enough for the party of Michael Gove and Boris Johnson; or not fiscally scrupulous enough for the party of Amber Rudd, Michael Ashcroft and Boris Johnson; or not discreet enough to keep from causing unnecessary embarrassment to the party of Liam Fox, Michael Fallon, Damian McBride and Boris Johnson; or not sebaceous enough for the party of George Osborne. Perhaps his sense of entitlement disturbed them, or some subtle hint of the foreign in his name. Perhaps they were simply disappointed to find that, despite his relaxed attitude to the welfare of others and the rule of law, Banks is not in fact a cartel of banks.