The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, August 20, 2018

Little Grey Cells

Atmospheric conditions in Conservative cranial interiors are, as we know, notoriously inimical to the rapid descent of pennies; but something called Rory at the Ministry for Profitable Incarceration has undergone a bit of a shift in his paradigms. After only eight years and yet another bang-up performance by those efficient G4S people, Rory has discovered that sacking thousands of people from an already overstretched workforce may on occasion lead to a deterioration in service quality, even when the said workforce has previously been ministered by the likes of Chris Graybeing and Michael Gove. Further proof of Rory's acumen is apparent in his chosen solution to the staffing problem (viz. bringing in more staff), which would almost certainly have been far too crude and obvious a tactic for his illustrious predecessors. I am sure Rory's intellectual leap deserves our most sincere and sustained rah-rah, although it is only fair to note that the regrettable situation at Her Majesty's Birmingham warehouse is at least partly the fault of drugs which have only been around for five years, and which therefore have not had sufficient time to obtrude themselves upon the snow-white ministerial consciousness.

2 Comments:

  • At 9:25 am , Anonymous Ian said...

    I'm quite warming to Rory. I mean, given he's a Conservative, so there's that, but he does have the oddest habit of answering questions directly, and of actually turning up to answer them in the first place. Very unusual. Also, he has this notion that a minister ought to take responsibility for his potential failings, which certainly is a novel idea.

     
  • At 7:33 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Bright lad as he is, it may possibly have dawned on Rory that, during our present political era of supra-Disraelian subtlety, direct answers need not be true ones and that headline-grabbing promises need not necessarily be kept when there are holidays outside the UK to be had instead.

     

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