The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Monday, August 27, 2018

Going South

Given the Conservative Party's deportation fetish and its laissez-faire attitude to such trivialities as manufacturing, it should be obvious what Britain's major export product is going to be once we have freed ourselves from the inconvenience of belonging to the world's biggest free trade area. With Jamaica temporarily full up thanks to the Home Office's Windrush indiscretions, the self-appointed chief guardian of Britain's racial purity is apparently hoping to find new dumping grounds in our African colonies for Britain's unwanted brown people. Anticipated highlights of the trip include haranguing the leaders of Kenya and Nigeria on keeping their natives out of nice people's countries, and observing British troops amid, no doubt, some happy reminiscences about dishing out the old what-for to the Mau Mau gorillas, their females and their piccaninnies. The dead-eyed warden will also be visiting Mandela's former prison at Robben Island, where no doubt she will gather some useful tips for her boot-boys at G4S; and she also apparently intends to lecture the South African government on taking a measured, rule-based approach to land reform, which in light of her own government's combination of casual law-breaking and squealing hysteria may elicit one or two diplomatic watermelon smiles.

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