British Bobbies Bossed by Brussels

As long as the Government is brightened by such intellectual firebuckets as Tumbledown Tessie, Michael Gove and the disgraced former Minister for Wog-Bombing, complacency would of course be foolish; but there seems a distinct possibility that the present talk of a no-deal Brexit is a bluff. When you wish to do something stupid, the best way is to propose something insane and allow yourself to be bargained down; although, since the whole ghastly process of Brexit is essentially a factional squabble in the Conservative Party, the boundaries between idiocy and lunacy are admittedly rather fluid. Still, talking up the consequences of a move to WTO rules is most likely intended to scare the more dim-witted and cowardly members of the House of Expenses Claimants (viz. the majority) into voting through whatever deal the EU foists upon us, rather than taking either the ridiculous option favoured by the jabbering homunculus and the vole-brained Werritty-warmer, or the substantially saner option of forgetting the whole thing, rescinding the Artlcle 50 declaration and committing mass seppuku to the chimes of Big Ben.

Crowd control is a matter for the police, so it should come as no surprise that Tumbledown Tessie's erstwhile enemies have mucked in with enthusiasm. A leaked letter to the Home Secretary warns of "significant risks to our local communities" and a "significant loss of operational capacity" given that the British police work according to more than thirty measures which depend on EU membership, and the remnants of the British courts depend on European databases for access to the history of those foreign criminals about whom certain people used to worry so legitimately, understandably and vociferously. The Brexiteers have already suggested their solution - sit back and blame the Euro-wogs - but for some reason the citizens of nowhere in the Association of Police and Crime Commissioners working group seem to think this may not be enough. Doubtless it won't be long before someone in the former party of law and order suggests using groups of patriotic volunteers to raise the standards of British justice to the necessary level.