We're Not Like Those Vulgar Colonists

Given the dead-eyed warden's righteous tut-tutting over the American policy of separating junior job-stealers from their parents, it should come as no surprise that Her Majesty's Government operates precisely the same policy. A certain James Cleverly did some solemn huffing and puffing last month: "We don't do this in the UK," Cleverly proclaimed. "We have a very family-focused detention régime." Alas, it appears that Cleverly - evidently, like the vole-brained former Minister for Werritty, not the most aptly-surnamed tool in the box - has said the thing that is not. Official numbers are not available, because the two previous incumbents at the Ministry for Wog Control neither knew nor cared, while the present incumbent is a little preoccupied sharpening knives for his boss's back; but in the last six months a charity that offers legal representation to the victims has represented over a hundred and fifty parents who were separated from their children while guests of the British wog warehousing industry. The charity's usual caseload is about a hundred and seventy a year; so, as one would expect in light of Whitehall's famous moral independence from the White House, the family-focused régime may well be expanding.