Must Try Harder

Such is the strength and stability of Her Majesty's Government these days that it cannot co-ordinate with itself, let alone with others, even in the all-important area of precipitating migrant crises. A review of Britain's capacity for wog-bombing was due next week, when our NATO allies expect to be told what's what and to receive their instructions on looking after Britain's interests. Unfortunately, our pubescent Minister for Wog-Bombing has failed to hand in his essay on time, apparently because of a disagreement with his elders over toys and pocket-money. The problem is all the more pressing because the Trumpster's Secretary of State for the Apocalypse is making noises about a special relationship with France instead, despite that country's inexplicable predilection for remaining in the EU. It is not as yet clear precisely how the Farage Falange faction in the War Cabinet views this glorious opportunity for Britain to play the Great Game alone; or whether any Leaver has suggested the obvious financial solution of asking Vladimir Putin for a handout.