Fury as Nothing Much Changes

Turmoil at sudden stupidity deficit

Markets were disturbed today as the British government lost first its stupidest minister after Chris Graybeing and then, only a few hours later, its silliest minister after Chris Graybeing.

The departure of blathering prima donna David Davis, a blustering lightweight with the intellectual gravitas of a Sun editorial, resulted in a brief but traumatic upward blip in the Cabinet's collective IQ.

Order was rapidly restored with the appointment of Dominic Raab, a blustering lightweight with the intellectual gravitas of an editorial in The Sun, but the pound lost value as sellers panicked at the thought of a possible decrease in Her Majesty's Government's negative intelligence.

The last time Davis flounced off a front bench, he took precautions against possible backbencher headline levels by following up with a vanity by-election, but it remains as yet unclear whether there are any plans for similar entertainments this time around.

Davis' resignation was followed by that of the joke Foreign Secretary, which caused further turmoil as the negative seriousness of Her Majesty's Government attained the least predictable levels since the appointment of the joke Foreign Secretary.

The vole-brained former Minister for Werritty, who once shared a house with both Davis and the Imperial Haystack and whose appointment was considered almost as prudent and statesmanlike as theirs, is believed to be ready to step into any pair of shoes that will accommodate his head.