Would You Describe Yourself as One of Us?

As part of its drive towards a more open and diverse society, which has hitherto encompassed such triumphs of tolerance as the Prevent programme, the Windrush persecutions and the Go Home vans, Her Majesty's Government is now concerned to ensure that companies are employing the right sort of people. To this noble end, the civil service will next year be asking its staff whether they have scrounger blood. Four-fifths of the questionnaire will then be recommended to other employers, and the information will be purely anonymous and will not be used for purging anyone, much as destroying the Windrush generation's documents did not affect their immigration status. Use of the questionnaire will for the moment be voluntary, which should certainly help to enhance diversity among those companies which don't particularly care about it.