Trading Blows

Is there no end to the sneaking perfidiousness of those perfidiously sneaky Euro-wogs? No sooner does the dead-eyed warden announce that HM Prison UK will require a truly global environment for its hostilities, than the fiendish foreigners conspire to start pinching our Commonwealth. One might almost think that they read our newspapers; or even that there might really be people in the world who are faster off the mark than the vole-brained former Minister for Werritty. Of course, the ghastly Euro-wogs have tilted the playing field in characteristically cunning fashion, by imposing EU rules on Britain just because Britain happens to be a member of the EU and then, worse yet, by insisting that Britain remains bound by EU rules for exactly as long as Britain remains a member of the EU. Still, despite this new Nazi-style trick, and once our antipodean penal colonies have been reminded of their proper place within the Recrudescent Imperium of Westminster, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands, the former Minister for Werritty will doubtless be able to negotiate something far more advantageous; always provided he has the backing of a nuclear submarine or two.