The Curmudgeon


Thursday, April 05, 2018

Lilliput Shrunken

Despite its leadership's pathological suspicion of foreign influences and the toxic mixture of sullen aggression and racist clowning that constitutes its foreign policy, the world's most ridiculous hermit kingdom is unlikely in the immediate future to launch a nuclear strike against North Korea. In the estimation of a report by the Commons select committee on defence, Kim Jong-un, "though undoubtedly ruthless, is nevertheless rational;" which rather scuppers the usual pre-liberatory "mad dog" angle, at least until the Trumpster's head-tribble or John Bolton or someone equally strong and stable proclaims otherwise. By way of compensation, the report suggests that a "45 Minutes from Doom" option may be available to the scumbag press within as little as eighteen months; although the notoriously fragile egos among the hermit kingdom's ruling class are likely to be somewhat dented by the idea that Kim Jong-un does not consider them a threat.


  • At 9:36 am , Blogger Andrew King said...

    Say what you like about our leaders' efforts to turn the UK into a strategically irrelevant failed state but, as a defence strategy, it's certainly original. We have the only government in history to have instituted a pre-emptive scorched earth policy just in case an enemy might attack. Makes you proud...

  • At 4:25 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    Britain can never be strategically irrelevant so long as our Dear Leaders continue to succour and maintain our great Royal Independent Quasi-American Yet Delightfully Indigenous Weapons of Mass Destruction, which have provided a heavenly sheath of protection for the whole continent of Europe since the Conservative Party won the war, thereby ensuring peace and prosperity in the very teeth of dictatorial Eurocratic interference.


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