Lilliput Shrunken

Despite its leadership's pathological suspicion of foreign influences and the toxic mixture of sullen aggression and racist clowning that constitutes its foreign policy, the world's most ridiculous hermit kingdom is unlikely in the immediate future to launch a nuclear strike against North Korea. In the estimation of a report by the Commons select committee on defence, Kim Jong-un, "though undoubtedly ruthless, is nevertheless rational;" which rather scuppers the usual pre-liberatory "mad dog" angle, at least until the Trumpster's head-tribble or John Bolton or someone equally strong and stable proclaims otherwise. By way of compensation, the report suggests that a "45 Minutes from Doom" option may be available to the scumbag press within as little as eighteen months; although the notoriously fragile egos among the hermit kingdom's ruling class are likely to be somewhat dented by the idea that Kim Jong-un does not consider them a threat.