The Curmudgeon


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

Doing Their Business on Britain's Doorstep

Pessimists, traitors and citizens of nowhere at that notoriously anti-business lobbying group, the Institute of Directors, have dared to imply that cutting ourselves off from our most profitable markets and giving the old Churchill V-sign to the biggest free trade area in the world might conceivably result in potential economic outcomes which may arguably, from certain unpatriotic and ill-tempered points of view, appear somewhat less than wholly positive. More than forty per cent of company bosses turn out to be lily-livered internationalists who wish nothing better than to continue living on Euro-wog subsidies rather than striking out and conquering new vistas of independent trade in the fields of Marmite, militaria and motivational flatulence. Three-quarters of companies are optimistic about their international business prospects; although it remains unclear whether any correlation exists between such optimism and the ability of particular companies to do their bit for Britain by flogging off their assets, dumping their workers onto the mercy of the Department for Workfare and Privation, and seeking asylum for their capital at a proper bank in Frankfurt. For anyone with an aversion to being tarred, feathered and braised in chlorine by angry shareholders, the decision whether to cut and run, or instead to trust in the negotiating power and brilliance of the former Minister for Werritty, must certainly be quite the little dilemma.


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