The Curmudgeon


Monday, March 26, 2018

Diagnostic Tools

One of the great attractions of our approaching independence from the ghastly Euro-wogs has always been the chance to put experts in their place; and the Not Awfully Bright Party's representative for Bosworth has continued the patriotic crusade by asking the Minister for Profitable Healthcare for an assurance that the post-Brexit NHS will be safe from the dictatorial interference of the merely qualified. Doubtless the Minister agrees entirely with the idea that homeopathic remedies, being both inexpensive and ineffective, are a perfectly economic solution for prole diseases; but even Jeremy C Hunt knew better than to agree with his astrologically-inclined honourable friend that "traditional medicine" is the answer to the antibiotics crisis. Hunt did let slip that the ghastly Euro-wogs have so far relaxed their Nazi-style straitjacket as to permit discussions with health ministers among the Heathen Chinee; but the efficacy against the Britishness disorder of sovereignty in homeopathic doses remains sadly unproven.


  • At 7:56 pm , Blogger Emma said...

    TCM isn't even a thing. It doesn't work. Everybody knows it doesn't work. Dumb people are embracing it at their literal peril. My vet even tried to prescribe something to clean the yin out of my dog's liver the last time I took her for a checkup.

    I haven't encountered a source of such reliable postmodern embarrassment since Donald Trump accused Barack Obama of treason for not stopping Donald Trump from getting elected.

  • At 11:32 pm , Blogger Philip said...

    In the 1970s there was a British comedy team/series called The Goodies. In one episode string was a thing, and one of the characters gave a demonstration of its virtues by bringing out a circuit board wired with string instead of wire and proclaiming that string is a more economical solution because (flicks switch; nothing happens) it doesn't work.


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