Diagnostic Tools

One of the great attractions of our approaching independence from the ghastly Euro-wogs has always been the chance to put experts in their place; and the Not Awfully Bright Party's representative for Bosworth has continued the patriotic crusade by asking the Minister for Profitable Healthcare for an assurance that the post-Brexit NHS will be safe from the dictatorial interference of the merely qualified. Doubtless the Minister agrees entirely with the idea that homeopathic remedies, being both inexpensive and ineffective, are a perfectly economic solution for prole diseases; but even Jeremy C Hunt knew better than to agree with his astrologically-inclined honourable friend that "traditional medicine" is the answer to the antibiotics crisis. Hunt did let slip that the ghastly Euro-wogs have so far relaxed their Nazi-style straitjacket as to permit discussions with health ministers among the Heathen Chinee; but the efficacy against the Britishness disorder of sovereignty in homeopathic doses remains sadly unproven.