A Very Long Red Line

Fresh from treating the ghastly Euro-wogs to yet another list of demands in plain English, the dead-eyed warden of HM Prison UK has turned her compassionate gaze upon the Irish Question. Despite the Imperial Haystack's having so efficiently cleared up the matter by comparing the Irish border to the boundaries of boroughs in London, it appears that certain malcontents and citizens of nowhere still remain unsatisfied. Fortunately, a strong and stable solution is at hand: Tin-Pot Tessie has unilaterally deemed the border between Canada and the USA an object of her squaloid scrutiny, apparently as an example of how the Recrudescent Imperium might care to assert its rights against the Fenian menace. The Canada-USA border does, after all, have colonies on both sides, such as the suggestively-named British Columbia and New England; the fact that these territories are separated by the entire width of North America is but a bagatelle to their no doubt bustling mutual trade in chlorinated Marmite. Then again, perhaps the border itself was what appealed to her party instincts: tediously simple and straight for the most part, with some fiddly kinks on the far right.