Virtuous Exports

Given the late Head Boy's announcement some years ago that Britain's mission to democratise the fuzzy-wuzzies of Afghanistan was jolly well accomplished, it should come as no surprise that civilian casualties in the pacified nation have exceeded ten thousand a year for the past four years. Our own Ministry for Wog Disposal, hardly the people to make a fuss when mere foreigners are being maimed and killed, rates Afghanistan as the second least peaceful country in the world, and notes that the United Nations mission in the country has found that the province with the highest number of civilian casualties is Kabul. Hence the Ministry for Wog Disposal is happily deporting Afghan asylum seekers, including those who swarmed into Britain as junior cockroaches and are indiscreet enough to turn eighteen, on the grounds that they can move to Kabul if they face persecution in their home province. This has the dual benefit of protecting British jobs and directing a salutary hint of British moral superiority at Iran and Pakistan, which between them have an infestation of at least two million Afghan refugees but where real and understandable non-racist concerns are only intermittently effective.