Thus Did They Persecute the Money-Changers Before You

When preaching blatant violation of one commandment, it is usual for Christian churches to compensate by tightening up the rhetoric on another. The enthusiasm of wartime pastors for mass murder in the name of God and country was frequently balanced by thunderous condemnation of sexual incontinence on the part of the cannon fodder. With similar sophistication, the Trumpster's spiritual counsellors at the Kentucky-fried Cash Ministry (KCM) have jettisoned all that rubbish about riches in Heaven, which crude and literalist theologians have often regarded as fairly central to Christ's ministry. As a wandering preacher, Jesus certainly made His living by sponging on wealthy sinners and foolish women, and ordered His apostles to do the same; but He never went quite as far as the KCM, whose leaders proclaim that wealthiness is next to godliness and own a private jet and a multi-million-dollar home in holy Texas. The KCM has compensated by leaning heavily on the faith-healing racket, urging followers to avoid inoculations and instead stay healthy by shouting at flu germs to go away. Since the KCM is registered in the UK, the bureaucratic Pharisees at the Charity Commission have had the temerity to question whether such saintly conduct is altogether in keeping with the legitimate aims of a charitable organisation. For the spiritual peace of the KCM's congregation, we can only hope that any consequent scourging, nailing and spearing will be purely material in nature.