The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, February 22, 2018

A Better Choice of Ancestor

It isn't often that archaeological science gives comfort to the pushers of patriotism; but even as the Farage Falange reels from the news that the first Britons were dark-skinned immigrants, a DNA study of more recent arrivals has given indications of a worthier heritage. Of course the Beaker people were immigrants too, and from central and eastern Europe to boot; but they seem to have compensated for their namby-pamby pottery obsession by wiping out the local population, whose commitment to large communal projects like Stonehenge indicates an unhealthy, Stalinistic centralising streak. There is as yet no indication as to whether the decline and disappearance of these inefficient persons occurred through natural causes such as their being the laziest workers in Europe, or through something more dynamic and entrepreneurial like deliberate genocide. Nevertheless, the fact that they were replaced by people with Britishness-appropriate skin and eye colour demonstrates that even mere archaeological experts can sometimes redeem the indiscretions of the past.

Me at Poetry24:
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