In the Beginning

The discovery of a fossilised jawbone belonging to the world's oldest known Zionist will undoubtedly prompt much moral rejoicing among all true friends and allies of the Righteous State. Not only does the fossil's age prove that deeds to the Holy Land were granted by the reputable estate agent Yahweh, Inc. some two hundred thousand years ago, but the likely sins of its contemporaries tend to vindicate the Righteous State in more contemporary matters. According to scientists, the fossil's presence suggests that Homo sapiens ipsedixit was mingling and mating with other human species in the Middle East, anticipating the sins of Solomon over a period of several millennia. As a result, God ensured that they left no direct descendants behind, thereby providing both moral and genetic justification for the Righteous State's present alt-British attitude to African migrants.