Operation Managed Hopelessness

The army has been roundly rebuked for considering an update to its brand advertising. Crossed swords, a crown and a lion were found to constitute too non-inclusive a symbol, and it was suggested that the logo be replaced by a union jack, which would exclude only the lesser breeds. Also, the slogan "Be the best" was considered off-putting, which seems reasonable enough given the present march to the nadir in almost every aspect of public life. In a country headed by the Battenbergs of Benefits Palace, administered by the Conservative Party, moralised by the Church of England and run by a gang of tax-dodging troglodytes, displays of actual merit are at best indiscreet. Nevertheless, the chair of the defence select committee assured the Rothermere Stürmer on Sunday that being the best was nothing to be ashamed of; although it is unclear whether he or the newspaper bothered to distinguish between mere achievement and (to pick a random triumph of military training) David Davis. At the moment, the Ministry for Wog-Bombing is at war with the Treasury over the empty suit's air-miles, and is run by a jumped-up school prefect whose idea of a sound defence policy is to recommend the extra-judicial killing of British citizens; so it would be understandable if the question was not explored too deeply.

Me at Poetry24:
Holy Office