Monkey Business

Doubtless owing to the renewed depths of moral laxity resulting from a few tentative and scattered recognitions of gays and transsexuals as human beings, creatures essentially resembling conservatives have been caught in flagrante with various members of other species. Japanese macaques of both sexes have been observed playing reindeer games with sika deer, apparently with the consent of the non-primate parties. It remains as yet unclear whether these transactions are a passing phenomenon, like the mating between the yapping bulldogs of UKIP and the blathering baboons in the House of Expenses Claimants which brought about the modern Conservative Party; or the start of a more venerable tradition, such as the half-century's organised breeding of vegetables with tapeworm which has produced the majority of our politico-journalistic class.