Presumption of Innocents

Although Her Majesty's Government recognises the contribution made to British society by citizens of the EU, Her Majesty's Government is also committed to kicking out the ghastly wogs as quickly as possible; and further complications arise from Her Majesty's Government's snow-white innocence of expertise in both areas of activity. Something called Brandon, which works for the wog disposal department under the auspices of the race-baiting Clegg-pledger Amber Rudd, is presuming that EU citizens should be allowed to stay; what this means in practice is that the Home Office sends out deportation orders more or less at random and is overruled by an enemy of the people about half the time, with the only loss being taxpayers' money and the only grief being that of people who shouldn't be here in the first place and the citizens of nowhere who love them. Happily, the Brandon-thing and his department are sometimes able to complete the deportation process before any appeal can be heard, which is certainly a tribute to their presumption; and Her Majesty's Government is plotting to efficientise matters yet further by setting up a new database state specifically to keep track of 3.2 million suspected fifth columnists for our enemies in Brussels. On the strength of previous Whitehall adventures in computerland, the fairness and efficacy of this electronic panacea is doubtless being presumed by all the best non-experts.