Not Yet Ready for Independence

Well, that will teach them, won't it? Mere days after threatening the Recrudescent Imperium over the trivial issue of a few colonials in Ulster, the Irish government is in trouble over, of all things, a scandal involving the deputy prime minister. In more advanced societies, where deputy prime ministers take hardcore pornography to work on a daily basis and where magic money trees are blithely scrumped in return for the loyalties of scandal-mired queer-bashers, the convulsions in the Free State can only be viewed as Ruritanian comedy. Although the Irish scandal concerns police malpractice, it remains as yet unclear whether our own statesmanlike Foreign Secretary has offered terms on any second-hand water cannon to help clear the matter up.