It's Only Public Money

Britain's happy backward slide into a simpler and less expert century is further evidenced by the revelation that almost all the water profiteering companies are prepared to admit using water diviners to locate leaking pipes. A spokesbeing for the regulator has proclaimed that the practice is very much a matter for the conscience of the individual water company; and it is true that, unlike such equally scientific practices as treating epilepsy with an exorcism on the National Health Service, launching nuclear missiles by horoscope or putting Chris Graybeing in charge of a ministry of state, the employment of two sticks and a salary-operated crank is unlikely to do any actual harm. After all, any customers who are bigoted enough to believe that their money might be better spent on methods that have some effect can always exercise their democratic, non-Communistic, non-nationalised right to choose between paying for the companies' hired sorcerers or else abstaining from water.

Update The water companies are now denying the use of witchcraft, although the denials have yet to be tested by any of the traditional methods.