Lion's Meat

As we are all aware, the head-chopping House of Saud is guilty of many moral derelictions; not least the recent decision to let women drive cars, which runs the risk of alienating a sizeable portion of the British Conservative Party membership's more traditionalist wing. Nevertheless, the Saudi government is nothing if not strong and stable, and goes about its wog-bombing with becoming enthusiasm, to say nothing of buying its equipment from all the right sorts of people. A draft report by some meddling foreigners at the UN criticises the parties to the war in Yemen for reducing the number of future dangers to British jobs; a similar report last year was toned down at the suggestion of the head-chopping House of Saud, which apparently reminded the then Secretary-General of Riyadh's contribution to the UN budget, and what a shame if something were to happen to it. The new report credits Saudi Arabia and its best-of-British armoury with a bag of six hundred and eighty-three out of a total of thirteen hundred and forty British jobs saved, although in accordance with civilised British values the head-chopping House of Saud has modestly played down the achievement.