Aping Their Betters

Armchair viceroys throughout the Recrudescent Imperium will no doubt be gratified to observe the latest outbreak of British values in Uganda, where food rations for swarming hordes have been cut by half. Uganda is dealing with approximately a million job-seekers from South Sudan, despite being somewhat less roomy than the United Kingdom which recently balked at taking in a few dozen smallish Syrians. Since Uganda is as yet insufficiently enlightened and democratic to wog-bomb its neighbours into freedom and peace, it looks as though a well-intentioned if inevitably crude imitation of the Osbornomic miracle will have to suffice for now. The beneficiaries have reacted with the usual ingratitude, even though humanitarian donations have occasionally amounted to as much as a third of what is needed. Britain's Minister for Piccaninnies has thus far made no public announcements regarding the investment potential of the local beach-front.