The Supremely-Tonsured Saviour of the English-Speaking Peoples

Some benefactor of the human species has evidently gone to work with a mallet, a crowbar and a good quality drill-bit, and has managed to force into the Johnson cranium an inkling that World War III, or even a bit of genocidal rah-rah around the Korean peninsula, might not be altogether a good thing for the career of Boris Johnson. Contrary to the usual doctrine at Westminster, whereby war is not just the easiest option but the only option that is morally sound and physically tolerable, Tin-Pot Tessie's joke Foreign Secretary has proclaimed that "there is no easy military solution" to North Korea's latest precautionary measures against the fire and fury of the Trumpster. Nevertheless, "all options are on the table", so presumably the Imperial Haystack allows that the Trumpster can still push the button after his state visit, provided the Queen says it's all right.

Aside from trivial considerations such as the lives of a few squillion palpebronasalic ænigmata, and even significant considerations such as the personal convenience of the Imperial Haystack, there are one or two valid reasons for not blowing everything up quite yet. Britain's own nuclear deterrent, assuming the boffins have worked out how to point it in the right direction, will of course be required for punching above our weight with the Euro-wogs should Brussels remain intransigent about doing what it's told. Troops will be needed to keep order on the streets when the shortages begin and the Treasury runs out of cash to pay those nice G4S people. Perhaps most importantly of all, when parliamentary sovereignty has been restored through the Great Enabling Bill which will free ministers from the un-British red tape of parliamentary scrutiny, it is not inconceivable that an aspiring heir to the Conservative Party might wish to keep Kim Jong-Un and his chums around as a guide to strong and stable government in a time of national self-reliance.