The New Napoleon

With the party's annual rah-and-blah lurking just around the corner, it is only natural that the Conservatives should have better things to do than listen to the speeches of ghastly Euro-wogs; particularly when they have the bad manners to be French and slightly to the left of Marine Le Pen. Nevertheless, Emmanuel Macron decided to take the risk that David Davis would be too busy inflating himself, and delivered a speech in which he mentioned the possibility of Britain rejoining the EU, once the latter has been so far simplified that even David Davis can understand it. In Macron's view, as befits a centrist, this would mostly involve a more uncompromised focus on killing and profiteering: Macron wants an EU army underpinned by an "efficient market" and a "common strategic culture". Given that Her Majesty's Government cannot even evolve a strategic culture common to more than three members of the Cabinet, the appeal of this vision on the mainland may be a bit limited; particularly as it appears to imply that plucky little Britain might not be the only one protecting an ungrateful continent from the Russian Bear.