Retreat from Kabul

Another enemy of the people has crawled from the wormy woodwork of British justice to interfere with the cleansing of Britain's streets and the relieving of the national constipation. As is well known, because the likes of the Farage Falange have said it so often, the UK is full up and cannot afford to support asylum seekers who come over here to take advantage of the free hospitality offered by those charming G4S people. Britain especially cannot afford asylum seekers who have the temerity to act as carers for British "citizens", thereby contributing to the present glut of social care workers and putting professionals out of a job. Accordingly, the race-baiting Clegg-pledger at the Ministry for Wog Control has been shaking the magic money tree to battle metropolitan élitists for her right under natural justice to deport an Afghan asylum seeker. The criminal had ludicrously claimed that his life would be in danger from the Taliban, who have been such fluffy bunnies recently that the Government wants to send more troops to fight them. But of course, as everyone knows, the Taliban are dangerous only to real people; where asylum seekers are concerned they magically metamorphose into the sort of decent, moderate Muslims who showed such pluck and gumption against the USSR's proto-Corbynite invasion. Nevertheless, no sooner had the asylum seeker been deposited back home than the Clegg-pledging race-baiter was ordered to uproot him from his natural habitat and return him to the heaving, straining bowels of the Recrudescent Imperium. The extent of likely damage to the white working class has yet to be properly assessed.