For Gallantry in the Face of Joysticks and Moral Qualms

Standard policy when it's all kicking off in the Cabinet is to dispatch the likes of Gove or Fallon to sneak a few headlines by saying something fatuous. Doubtless because the jabbering homunculus has gone all rah-rah for the Imperial Haystack once again, the post of honour this time has fallen to the blathering blimp at the Ministry for Wog-Bombing, who wants to grant the mental health of button-pushers parity of esteem with the physical risks taken by soldiers. Although American drone strikes in Iraq and Syria have killed at least four hundred and eighty-four civilians, the RAF heroically admits to bagging none but the guilty; nevertheless, the work can take a certain toll on the moral fibre, and the blustering blimp thinks a gong or two for the bravest would be just the thing. It is unclear how courage is to be measured in the absence of physical danger; but presumably the medals would be bestowed, in accordance with modern Conservative principles, upon anyone gallant enough to pay for them. It is certainly jolly decent of the blustering blimp to mouth such concern for the mental health of those who protect his government against the political perils of sending troops abroad and the tedious drudgery of negotiating with uppity foreigners; especially given his government's insouciant unconcern with the mental health of those lacking the entrepreneurial pluck and gumption to be killers for hire. Whether the idea will go any further than a quick snigger at the Party's post-Cenotaph belch-along remains to be seen.