The Curmudgeon


Monday, September 25, 2017

A Provisional Positional Proposal for the Clarification of the Revision of the Previous Clarification (Revised)

Contrary to the propaganda put about by various traitors, enemies of the people and citizens of nowhere, it is quite untrue that EU citizens living in the UK are being used as pawns in a political game between the Recrudescent Imperium and the ghastly Euro-wogs. In fact, those EU citizens who have somehow managed to insinuate their evil foreign selves into our island story are being used as pawns in a political game between two rival factions of the Conservative Party. One of these factions is the Farage Falange gang, who have been in the ascendancy since the referendum but have been looking ever more uncomfortable as reality repeatedly sinks its teeth into their ample buttocks. The other faction consists of the so-called pragmatists: those who are prepared to put aside their party's natural racist and witch-hunting instincts in the event of a possible danger to profits. The blithering prima donna David Davis, who once precipitated a vanity by-election about something or other, has followed the Liberal Democrat example and evolved sufficient pragmatism to side with the extremists whenever a red box is at stake.

Such is the situation behind the present confusion at the Ministry for Wog Control, which now proclaims, with a Child-Catcher grin of reassurance splattered charmingly across its face, that resident Euro-wogs will not require fingerprinting or ID cards. Nevertheless, it remains a possibility that those suspected of EU loyalties may or may not be required to trust in the tender efficiencies of a Whitehall database system, in order to prove their innocence of having arrived on the mainland after independence. New incursions will, of course, be fingerprinted, interrogated, monitored and documented to within an inch of their greasy little lives, until the blessed day dawns when they can be deported from the mouth of a cannon mounted atop the Caucasian cliffs of Dover. In spite of the grown-up magnanimity oozing from these proposals, gratitude levels among the Euro-wogs remain as yet undetermined.

Me at Poetry24:
Forgotten Heroes


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