The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Thursday, August 03, 2017

Taking the Piscatorial

In accordance with David Davis' Dunkirk-inspired Brexit policy of transitional capitulation, the jabbering homunculus that is Michael Gove has been informing foreign fishing persons that they can, after all, still come over here and filch our stocks. Being British, and having been governed for the past thirty-eight years by people who share Michael Gove's ideas about forward planning, long-term strategy and other red tape, we naturally have no industrial capacity to profit from keeping the Euro-wogs away, even assuming that the former Minister for Werritty can negotiate an international trade agreement to sell frozen cod to the Japanese. Accordingly, the jabbering homunculus has informed the Danes that they are welcome to Britain's leftovers, while assuring the plucky little Anglo-Saxons back home that taking back control means taking back control. It remains as yet unclear whether any of the pessimistic citizens of nowhere in the civil service have dared to inform the jabbering homunculus that, thanks to previous policy, Britain doesn't have much with which to enforce its self-made rules against any Viking incursions; or whether the jabbering homunculus is resolved to station himself on the beaches, like the great Danish king Cnut the Anagrammatic, and order the fish and the foreigners to behave.

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