Moderate Migrant-Bashers

There are fears among the racist rabble formerly known as the Farage Falange that the next heir to the strutting Caudillo might lead the party into disrepute. Having been led in the past by a lying, thieving racist and by a lying racist, the Falange now has a choice of eleven candidates for the privilege of failing to win seats in Parliament and getting free publicity from the BBC. Participants in the freak-show include a liar named Jane Collins, a twit named Aiden Powlesland and a gay-basher with an equine fixation. In such eminently sane territory, it seems strange to talk of moderates; but apparently the Farage Falange has them, and they are disquieted by the favourite for the Caudillo's throne, one Peter Whittle, whose modest ambitions include remaking the party into a "cultural movement" to cleanse the nation of multiculturalism. But the moderates are even more worried about the candidacy of one Anne Marie Waters, an Islamophobe with chums in the British National Party. In the event of a Waters win, some senior members have threatened to quit the Grand Purple Conflab and, presumably, look for a more profitable home in the party's parliamentary wing as soon as the latter ditches Tumbledown Tessie in favour of someone less liberal.