You Can't Expect a Boy to be Vicious Till He's Been to a Good School

Fury at migrant horror

Britain's tabloids are imminently expected to erupt with demands that the aristocracy loudly and unanimously condemn the posting of malicious and threatening comments on social media.

The free and cantankerous press will be responding to the judgement against the serially insolvent Rhodri Colwyn Philipps, fourth Viscount St Davids, who offered a bounty on Facebook for running over an immigrant.

Gina Miller, who is an immigrant, plotted with enemies of the people to force Parliament to exercise its sovereignty on the issue of Brexit, despite the obvious fact that all talk of parliamentary sovereignty during the referendum campaign was purely and simply a transparent rubric for racial paranoia and wog-bashing.

The viscount, who shares his aristocratic sense of humour with Britain's piccaninny-kicking Foreign Secretary, described the immigrant Miller as a "boat jumper" and suggested that she and other immigrants should be sent "back to their stinking jungles".

In further tribute to his intellectual prowess, the viscount defended himself in court. It is not at present known whether he was entitled to legal aid.

According to the moral code of the British press, minorities are generally held collectively responsible for objectionable behaviour by individual members, although the viscount's offence will be somewhat mitigated by not having been fictitious.