Wogs Out, Facts Later

In keeping with the lunge-first-look-later policy which now serves as the Whitehall standard, the Clegg-pledging race-baiter at the Home Office has decided to launch an investigation into the effects which the swarming Euro-wog hordes have on the economy. Since the race-baiting Clegg-pledger herself roused the rabble at a recent Conservative bark-and-blather with a pledge to name and shame companies who keep too many cockroaches on the payroll, it is perhaps unsurprising that the question hadn't previously occurred to her: what, after all, are mere facts compared with the necessity for appeasing the strutting cadres of the Farage Falange? The report is expected to be completed about seven months before the country falls into the low-tax, low-wage, cheese-exporting, chlorine-chickened paradise that awaits us at the foot of the Brexit cliff; which leaves nineteen more months of hostile environment before there is any danger of mere facts showing that the ravening swarms weren't really so bad after all.