Like a Timid, Blushing Tomato, I Humbly Solicit Your Views

The jabbering homunculus that is Michael Gove has proclaimed a period in "listening mode" before its expected default to bluster, blather and name-calling. As a self-styled "shy green", its self-effacing instincts have led it to vote against whatever green measures the parliamentary wing of UKIP happens to dislike (viz. all of them) and to denounce green regulations from the EU. Our escape from such absurd diktat will, if the jabbering homunculus is to be believed, lead us into a new and wondrous era of environmental friendliness that will make the Recrudescent Imperium of Westminster, Gibraltar and the Falkland Islands the dread and envy of lesser breeds. With Tin-Pot Tessie's Great Enabling Act already under hostile scrutiny, no doubt the jabbering homunculus is prepared to consider any revisions within reason. Any suggestions that don't imply interference with the legitimate entrepreneurial interests of head-chopping Saudi fossil fuel merchants and water-poisoning frackers will almost certainly not result in the jabbering homunculus dismissing the proponent as a blob. As shy greenery goes, even vegetable matter such as the blithering Owen Paterson or the gormless Andrea Leadsom could hardly say fairer than that.