La Salvada

There are few more edifying combinations than the benignant political hegemony of the United States and the sublime spiritual beauty of the Roman Catholic church, as witness the case of a high-school student whom the Salvadoran secular arm has just sentenced to thirty years in prison. Having been repeatedly raped by a gang member, the strumpet delivered a stillborn foetus into a lavatory last year; the judge, a virtuous woman, accepted the charge of murder on the grounds that the fallen creature did not seek antenatal care, although it proved impossible to ascertain whether the foetus died before or immediately after birth. By way of compensation, post-natal care was administered while the vessel of impurity was handcuffed to a hospital bed. In the best witch-hunting tradition, the judge also suggested that the murderess could not have acted alone, so the girl's mother may now also be a candidate for the attentions of any concerned citizens wishing to offer spiritual advice.