We're Not Sorry, and We Won't Tell You Why

A couple of beastly foreigners continue to persist in their vindictive campaign against the Reverend Blair's chief castrato for the Bush Administration, whom they accuse of knowing about the activities of MI6. With the present joke incumbent at the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns such an idea attains rather plausible deniability; but the Reverend Blair's little henchbeing had certain pretensions to seriousness which, however hopelessly out of date in the age of Brexit, have still come back to haunt him. His persecutors are a Libyan dissident and his Moroccan wife who, as part of the war for peace, freedom, democracy and enlightened British values, were abducted and handed over to some rather rough employees of the Reverend Blair's second-best chum Colonel Gaddafi. The plaintiffs have displayed the low, mean cunning characteristic of Britain-hating foreign types: they have said they will settle for £1 in damages and an unreserved apology from the British Government. This is of course out of the question: Her Majesty's Government never apologises about anything until the perpetrators are safely dead and have buildings named after them, while recent progress on Brexit means that the amount of money at stake could vary considerably, depending on whether it were paid at present rates or at sterling's value four years ago, when the Ministry for Wogs, Frogs and Huns was refusing to accept that the case should be heard at all. Now that the matter has reached the high court, lawyers for Her Majesty's Government and its obedient henchbeings are demanding that the case be heard in secret. The reasons for this are so innocent and above-board that the Government refuses to say what they are; its pretext being the ongoing legal proceedings whose validity the Government has spent the last four years refusing to recognise.