The Will to Win

In these times of turbulence, it is reassuring to see that the Liberal Democrats remain a bedrock of stability in their slavish emulation of the Conservatives. Following the recent martyrdom of St Timothy, all possible contenders for the leadership have bowed out one by one, leaving the former Secretary of State for Mates' Rates in line for an unopposed coronation without any of that destabilising nonsense about liberalism or democracy. After the inexperienced Jo Swinson and the former Deputy Conservative doormat for health, Norman Lamb, the last to go is Ed Davey, the former Deputy Conservative doormat for energy, knighted two years ago for services to the Bullingdon Club. Davey cited his wish to spend more time with his family and see his severely disabled son grow up without suffering too many of the indignities Ed Davey and his party have helped inflict on the severely disabled children of less hard-working families than their own. But who would have thought that the Liberal Democrats, having sold out their principles with all the energy of Philip Green squirming out of a financial obligation, would suddenly come over so unambitious? To watch them politely getting out of each other's way, one would almost think nobody wanted to lead a sweaty little handful of tainted Tory placemen.