Sometimes the Old Ways are Best

Owing in large part to our staunch allies and customers in the head-chopping House of Saud, an old Victorian chum has returned to give the scroungers and shirkers in Yemen another firm yet fair lesson in the robustness of traditional British values. Thanks to the Saudi intervention and its British hardware, Yemen has all the advantages that make for a buccaneering, have-a-go economy: an infrastructure free of government interference; a water system unshackled by regulatory red tape; medical staff whose workloads and salaries are balanced to benefit everyone, provided one takes into account those necessary and appropriate adjustments which must be made according to how much a particular customer really matters. As a result, there is a cholera epidemic: just the thing to weed out the weakling metropolitan élites and leave a cleaner, stronger and more stable nation in its wake.