The Curmudgeon

YOU'LL COME FOR THE CURSES. YOU'LL STAY FOR THE MUDGEONRY.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

How to Impress the Natives

Tin-Pot Tessie's joke foreign secretary has been headline-hunting again, with a journalist-grabbing blather about exporting whisky to India. The Imperial Haystack made his latest contribution to international statesmanship in a Sikh temple in Bristol, though it remains as yet unclear whether the Conservatives regard Bristol in toto as foreign territory, or only that part of its population that wears an orange turban. In any case, the Imperial Haystack apologised for the fact that anyone had taken offence, lectured the Sikhs on alcohol consumption among Sikhs, and duly got his column-space without any mention of the three hundred and fifty million reasons why he ought to lose his seat. A spokesbeing was later extruded to claim that the natives had been jolly impressed, and certainly it seems that the Imperial Haystack was able to refrain from informing the assembly about the more rah-rah aspects of the Amritsar Massacre; which must, in the present context, be accounted a triumph of sorts.

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