Forcing for Good

Although Kabul is safe enough for natives and other expendables, the same does not apply to Government staff, who are kept under armed guard until such time as the Ministry for Wogs and the Colonies may choose to make efficiency savings by sacking them. Nevertheless, as our mission in Afghanistan grows ever more accomplished, Her Majesty's Government has registered some annoyance at the property damage caused by the latest bit of native unrest. The Imperial Haystack is so appalled by the violence that he and his trough-mates have no intention at all of granting asylum to anyone who can be swiftly and sneakily deported back to the war zone. Still, let nobody say that the lessons of the past have not been learned. Rather than simply lie, as they did over the Dubs amendment, the Conservatives have recycled the standard evasive manoeuvre which they use when someone dies after being found fit for work by the Department for Workfare and Privation; namely that they cannot comment on "the operational side" because it has nothing to do with them, especially now that we control our own borders.