Blagging Through the Smog

Well, here's a thing: it seems that the Government's plan for reducing deaths from the illegally toxic air quality favoured by the Imperial Haystack was ready to go all along, just like the plan for Brexit; and all the enemies of the people had to do was ask nicely for the fag-packet it's been scrawled on. After months of Government prevarication, the high court ordered the Conservatives to hand in their homework by next week, so the reliably gormless Andrea Leadsom toddled into the Commons to proclaim that a few tens of thousands of extra prole deaths could not in her view be said to constitute an emergency without some risk of terminological inexactitude. Rather, the situation was a mere matter of significant and urgent concern; so urgent and significant that the Government tried to use the election as an excuse for further delay. After all, one of the main concerns behind the calling of the election is that much of the Conservatives' majority has the Crown Prosecution Service breathing down its collective dewlap, and if it comes to a choice between strength and stability versus legalistic mumbo-jumbo we all know which will look more appetising to the former party of law and order.