The Sidekick and his Punisher

Seismologists monitoring the western Pacific Ocean detected minor but noticeable tremors today as the vole-brained former Minister for Werritty landed in the Philippines, triggering a precipitate drop in the archipelago's collective IQ. Liam Fox, who once burbled about wanting to be first in the queue to inflict corporal punishment on burglars, has had a bit of a blather about the values and interests he shares with Rodrigo Duterte, who has encouraged his voters to inflict capital punishment on drug addicts. The vole-brained former Minister for Werritty also blathered about the markets "from Australia to China" which, now that Brussels can no longer prevent them, are joyously opening themselves up to penetration by the newly recrudescent British Empire. Presumably Australia will get the convicts and the more persistent remoaners, while the Heathen Chinee will get the opium. It remains as yet unclear whether the Philippines will rejoice in our cheese or bask in our marmalade; either way, it seems certain to be much jollier than playing grown-ups with silly old Germany.