Talking Above Their Weight

Since our joke Foreign Secretary has better things to do than engage in diplomacy at a time of international crisis, it has fallen to the blustering blimp at the Ministry of Wog-Bombing to give the Russian Bear its marching orders over Syria. Having last month postponed his visit to Russia in order to assert his buccaneering independence over the Americans' double-booked diaries, the Imperial Haystack has now cancelled the whole affair because of his moral displeasure at régimes that behave towards their citizens the way Margaret Thatcher's chum Saddam Hussein behaved towards his. "By proxy Russia is responsible for every civilian death last week," blathered the Minister for Wog-Bombing, whose employer spent last week sucking up to the fundamentalist head-choppers of the House of Saud. Fortunately for the civilians of Yemen, the House of Saud has carried out an investigation of its own UK-sanctioned wog-bombing and, with true Conservative Party rigour, has absolved itself of all possible blame.