Rah, Rah, Race You to the Bar

Yet further joyous evidence of our taking back control has emerged with the announcement that the Seventh Dedicated Legislation Committee, doubtless turned out in full regalia with robes, hoods, chains of office and exquisitely-tooled erotic insertables, has decided to award a great deal of public money to a family of migrants who, as recently as three years ago, were found to be mismanaging their finances. The Seventh Dedicated Legislation Committee was confabulated expressly for the single purpose of "considering" the welfare rise, and did so for a full thirteen minutes before voting it through and then humbly disbanding itself. The only reason it took that long was an objection by the SNP, whose representatives pointed out that throwing money at the Queen Gawblesser on the pretext of funding repairs to Buckingham Palace would be like doubling the salary of MPs and then asking them to contribute to building work at the Palace of Westminster. Doubtless an Eighth Dedicated Legislation Committee is even now being confundibulised in order to consider doing precisely that.