Failing Standards

Rah rah! Watch me simper and smirk!
I've found such a wizard new perk!
And won't it be funny
When I count my money
As little chaps do all the work!

The post-fact purveyors will see
A Press ever more wild and free!
And won't it be great
For reporters to wait
On a sniggering schoolboy like me!

The standards of truth have come far,
To make me their glistening star!
And won't it be nice
When I triple the price
And miss all my deadlines, rah rah!

Gideon Fatwick