Out of the Silent Planets

Fury at xenomorphic apathy

The purely theoretical inhabitants of the Trappist-1 planetary system have responded with equanimity to the excitement they have inadvertently caused in one of the less gentrified districts of the universe.

Simian astronomers on a small blue planet which is rapidly turning black have registered considerable emotion at the thought of discovering alien life in the middle of a local extinction event caused by their own species.

Although the potential for commercial exploitation of the hypothetical xenoids remains as yet unclear, the British government has stated that it will be happy to sell the aliens weapons and train their police forces.

The statement went on to say that no infringement of British sovereignty would be tolerated, and that the aliens should not imagine that the purely speculative nature of their existence would entitle them to get away with any liberties.

The aliens themselves, so far, have not responded to requests for comment and have shown very few signs of being perturbed by the controversy.