Brows Furrow, Veins Throb and There Commences a Hideous Parody of Cerebration

After only several years of the London Haystack's defiance of pompous Euro-wog regulations of British air, the Government has noticed that pollution in London is a Bad Thing, possibly for no other reason than that London now has a darky Labour mayor. That brilliant intellect and sometime cyclist-clobberer Chris Graybeing has taken decisive action: he has advised readers of the Rothermere Daily Stürmer to "take a long, hard think" before buying a car. It's typical enough of ministers to advise the proles to take action of which they themselves are morally and physically incapable; doubtless the fruits of Graybeing's homily will be apparent in the coming year's statistics for cerebral haemorrhage among the Stürmer-reading populace. In the longer term, the Government plans to use public money to bribe motorists to buy greener (there, presumably, goes another chunk of the National Health Service's weekly £350 million Brexit bonanza) because the spending of public money on public transport is forbidden by religious doctrine.